It all started when I was around 16 or so years old. I was in high school. High school, or years known as the best years of your life- age when you are supposed to have so much fun. Years which elders remember as the most care free period of their life. Yeah, that “fun” and glorious period wasn’t really sunshine and roses for some of us.
So, back to the story- I was very witty and humorous person to be around with, despite raging hormones and stresses from exams and trying to fit in. Until one day. Or perhaps after lots of days, even months. I remember getting back from Summer holidays, returning to school and to “normal” life as teens those days used to live it- a bit of going out, a bit of studying, a bit of watching TV.
Suddenly, then, poof- black cloud appeared over my head. I think it was a start of some crisis. Perhaps it was a true depression, perhaps only mood swings that belong to every adolescence.
In the beginning it was really strange to feel those feelings. Sadness out of nowhere. I started pondering about some greater meaning of life, about future, about loneliness. About college. About death. In no particular order.
I started being obsessed about my feelings- from how they switched from joy to deepest depths of black.
I even talked about my sadness with my parents. They told me that I should go out more. Yeah, that enjoying part, I must have forgotten about socializing in the mean time. If I had gone out more, I would have surely felt better. Then we talked about school. Maybe if you study more, your self esteem would get better and thus your mood would improve? Only they forgot that you can´t think clearly and have motivation to study when you feel low.
Can I blame them for not understanding?- Of course no. Heck, I don´t even get teenagers these days and I am only 28.
Problem with young people feeling down is that most of the time adults address it as something that will soon pass and that is not serious. It is not serious for someone who has a greater perspective on life and who has gone through many trials and tribulations and survived all the emotions that go hand in hand with them.
But, when you are 16 and sad, or depressed or down in the dumps is often feels like the end of the world. Was that the end of your world you will know when you come through it. Then you will look back and smile because you survived it.